The Courage to Adventure Blog

Dangerous Expectations

Coach Sue — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:27:59 +0000

Recently, my husband went away on his own little adventure. Me? I was left alone with my sweet cat Sesame, my books, my writing, and anything else that suited my fancy. Still being somewhat humbled by my recent knee arthroscopy, I needed to be mindful of my physical limitations. I kept busy and had no expectations when my husband Larry would be home which included being alone on Valentine’s Day.

I could have had expectations that he would be home on Valentine’s Day and leave his own interests behind. That would have been a dangerous expectation. Setting myself up for disappointment, anger, feeling sorry for myself, or any number of other emotions. I chose to take the path of no expectations. If I had chosen the path of expecting my husband to come home for Valentine’s Day when he wasn’t ready to come home the outcome would have been so different. I would have wallowed in self-pity and Larry’s disappointment would have been equally clear. Because I chose the path of no expectations, the benefits definitely were abundant. Late afternoon on Valentine’s Day I received a beautiful bouquet with a balloon saying, “I love you.” I was very happy with my husband’s expression of love. He also made his way back home late Valentine’s Day instead of the following day. My husband’s appreciation was and is abundant! He is so happy he had his little adventure and he got home to celebrate a piece of Valentine’s Day with me.

What path do you normally choose? What path do you want to choose? Do you have dangerous expectations that take you down the road of so much disappointment? What if you embrace today, a mindset of never having expectations? Where do you think your stress would go then? How much freedom do you think that would give you?

Flying like a bird above the stressful crowd. Join my flock. The view is beautiful from up here.

Chirp chirp

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, celebrate, choice, contentment, courage, freedom, happy, inner self, life, love, open, permission, relationships, self-esteem, sliding doors, soul, support, trust, truth, women

Sisterhood

Coach Sue — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:20:08 +0000

I remember walking into the apartment like I was walking into an interview (and I had never really been interviewed before). I was nervous. Really? Who knew? I was 22 years old and I had no idea that I would be walking into my community of sisters that continues to this day. There was Kyle, Sharon, and Dolores wondering if I would fit in because I was a little sister for a fraternity.

As I sit here, I look at the photo collage that Dolores put together for the 7 of us, because now it also includes Rebbie, Terry, and Melinda (stories for another time). Sadly, we are missing Janielle in theses photos because we lost her to ovarian cancer. Reflectively I sit looking at this collage, because tomorrow we attend Dolores’ memorial service tomorrow. She lost her struggle with uterine sarcoma January 14.

SISTERS BY HEART

We’ve shared so much laughter,
Shared so many tears,
We’re a spiritual kinship,
that grows stronger each year,

We’re not sisters by birth,
but we knew from the start,
God put us together
to be sisters by heart.

To Dolores I say a loving “goodbye.” Physically she may no longer be with us, but she is laughing, telling stories, smiling down at those she has left. She is no longer in pain or suffering. I will remember her as a good friend and sister who made my life better because she was a part of it. I admire her strength and courage to stay until her body failed her. She loved well and deep with those whose lives she touched, including mine.

Farewell my friend,

Love,

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, courage, death, family, grief, inner self, life, love, ovarian cancer, photo collage, relationships, soul, spiritual kinship, uterine sarcoma, women

Go Gently ……..

Coach Sue — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:31:44 +0000

Recently, I felt a lot of resistance to my transition into being a leader. I literally was having a saboteur convention. You can imagine the confusion, noise level, and fighting that was going on. The noise was so loud that my soul couldn’t get a word in edgewise and my inner little girl was cowering in a corner. I comforted her, and was gentle with myself. Giving myself permission to just let the messiness of confusion sort itself out.

I have since been able to open the door and let the convention go back to Vegas. I know there are times when this must have happened for you. Those little gremlins that tell you that “you aren’t good enough,” “you don’t fit in,” “nobody wants you to be a part of their party,” and on and on. They are nasty little pests. Some little lesson you learned as a child either one time, or over and over. Interesting how these gremlins become part of your psyche and often times they just camp out and stay, and stay. Getting you to protect the inner child and forgetting that you are now an adult and are no longer needed.

At times when the saboteurs, the gremlins, the voices, come out and decide you need protection, bring out the permission slips and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to, yes, play in the mud, and learn what your next step is. There is so much learning in that mud. Guess what? You get to leave the mud behind in the end and take only the good stuff out.

Go Gently…..and give yourself permission to be happy with what surfaces.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, choice, courage, creating something new, dream, freedom, happy, inner self, life, permission, purpose, relationships, safety, self-esteem, soul, support, trust, women

Escape to Your Life

Coach Sue — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:09:24 +0000

Bounce, bounce, better hang on. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Ooh that’s a good shot. Stop!! Out come the cameras for the first picture of our 5 night safari. 48 hours after leaving California, we’re riding in a Land Rover experiencing the wild open spaces of the Balule Reserve in South Africa. Our Ranger Rex and our tracker Frans ( from Ezulwini Game Lodges )were our guides to adventure and of safety. Warthogs (Pumba from Lion King), Giraffes, Zebras, and the Big 5 ( elephants, water buffaloes, leopard, lions, and rhinos ), and most of all Impala, were our playmates while we were there. Fascinating, educational, and just plain fun.

Seth Grodin in his book “Tribes,” explains about a trip to Hawaii that enlightened him about his ability to work and play at the same time. He didn’t need a vacation to escape his life and I don’t either. I now know I escape to my life everyday. I am so grateful for the life I have and for what is to come. Life is exciting, adventurous, mysterious at times, and just plain fun. After 3 weeks in South Africa, I have pushed the pause button. Thank goodness, for I need the downtime.

Vacation is something you can blend into your whole life; your everyday life. You can set up an equilibrium with a change of scenery, even if it is just around your block, in your nearby park, and a fountain at your shopping center. Take a virtual break through music, movie, or an entertaining book. If you change just one aspect of your life, such as eating your cereal with a fork, what would that look like? What would you do? So many possibilities in front of you.

There lies an open world in front of you. An escape of sunshine and lollipops to taste and feel in your life. A balanced teeter totter. Just look, and ask. Something will show up to show you that escaping to your life is better than escaping from your life. I hear a sigh of relief from you…..do you hear it?

Are you looking for the elusive carrot to have it all? Take my hand and I’ll show you.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: Adventure, breast cancer, celebrate, community, courage, creating something new, dream, happy, life, love, permission, pride, purpose, recovery, relationships, safety, sliding doors, soul, stimulating the senses, support, women

Sounds of Silence

Coach Sue — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 00:13:09 +0000

Wind blowing through the trees and the fall leaves dropping to the ground; the flutter of wings as a hummingbird flies by, a squirrel chattering at my cat as they face each other on the back fence; these are the sounds of silence. Taking moments of silence to just sit with the sun shining on my face. If I sit really still I can hear sounds I didn’t know were there before and I get more curious.

I hear the lyrics of Simon & Garfunkel’s song, “The Sounds of Silence,” which speaks of seeking truth and is it really in the silence. Silence can hand you truth on a platter. Silence can help you process your truth. Silence allows you to formulate a plan for your truth. Speaking and reaching out helps you share your truth and give others a glimpse into who you are. What a powerful gift silence can be! Silence can support your coping skills to help manage the stresses of life (yes, another story). There’s a lot of juicy, gooey stuff in your silence.

When you take that 5 minutes, 15 minutes, half hour, however how much silence you are able to give yourself; look into the silence. Let any thoughts that present themselves to you fly away like a hummingbird. Then open your eyes and find your words to present yourself to the world and run with it. Test it out and see what information comes back to you.

I’m looking under the sounds of silence; for my sweet song, the smell of a flower, the chattering squirrel. Be curious with me and let me know what you find.

I hear you in the sounds of silence.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, choice, courage, creating something new, curiosity, freedom, happy, inner self, open, permission, play, purpose, silence, stimulating the senses, trust, truth, women

Anticipation

Coach Sue — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 02:32:07 +0000

“Anticipation, anticipation,” sings Carly Simon. This is what you feel when you are preparing for something new. Something new, creates a feeling of adventure. Exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I have many exciting upcoming events. Irina Wardas, HHC AADP will interview me on her blogtalk radio show, Thursday October 27. This week I continue my leadership class with a retreat for 5 days, and I leave for South Africa on a well deserved vacation we won through an auction last February at the Ragin Cajun Fundraising Event for the Sandra J. Wing Foundation. A lot to anticipate, and where does that leave “here?”

Preparation is key to having a productive and organized life. It helps to keep chaos at bay and deserves some attention. Once that preparation and planning is complete, then where does the “now” come into play? Because truly, this is really where you live. If you live in the past you miss the present and the future. You wring your hands over what might have been. If you live in the future, the planning is forgotten, the intention is……(where?), and you miss the laughter of your family, the lick on your face from your dog when you arrive home, and the pleasantness of being alone with yourself. Living here and now means I get to smile every time I write a word in this blog.

Where do you live? Here and now? Lamenting about the best times in your past? Anticipating the future with all the anxiety that goes with it?

Stay here with me. Listen to the silence, feel the touch from loved ones, smell the roses, and savor that delicious dessert.

I’m savoring my time with you.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: Adventure, breast cancer, celebrate, choice, contentment, happy, inner self, open, permission, purpose, relationships, self-esteem, soul, stimulating the senses, support, trust, women

Come a Little Closer

Coach Sue — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:42:00 +0000

Recently, I learned more about a classmate and friend. We were thrown together by fate for a project (which is another story). My impression or assumption of her initially is that she is a straight shooter and when the chips are down she will tell you what she thinks. An admirable trait. Being thrown together on this project took my assumptions to a new level. There are parts about my friend that are totally unexpected and although may not have surprised me it made me want to scratch my head and go, mmmmm, ok. Then we laugh and laugh about just being silly. That part feels oh so fun.

Dropping your assumptions about someone brings your relationship to a whole new level. Your connection becomes stronger, you can relax, and the façade drops away. In the process, your veil drops to the floor as well and you get a little closer. Your relationship develops into something more accepting, deeper, and forgiving. You find you have more in common than you thought and you bond. Your support bubble becomes bigger and some place softer to land or just bouncy, meaning you pick yourself up faster. You get that leg up and that hand up that you needed. Something to celebrate and go “aaaahhhh.”

Letting someone a little closer creates something bigger than yourself. A creative environment which you build upon each other like a pyramid.

Come be creative with me. Come a little closer and get to know me. I’m ready to give you a hand up or a leg up, whichever you need most.

Let’s build your creation story together.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life, reflections Tagged: breast cancer, celebrate, celebration, community, connection to others, contentment, creating something new, inner self, life, love, meeting someone new, open, permission, relationships, self-esteem, support, transparency, trauma, trust, women

Putting it all Together

Coach Sue — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 01:05:48 +0000

Colors, patterns, textures. All design elements used to re-design a bathroom as we did to our outdated bathrooms last year. By themselves, each element we selected was beautiful, together they became the whole package. The look, the feel, that under your breath, and out loud…….WOW!

So goes life. For years you’ve tried to figure out what your life is all about. Sometimes you think you have it all together. Then a crisis occurs and everything seems to fall apart. You feel like you’re back at square one. Along the way of going through life you’ve developed some skills; ones that help you cope, others that help you learn. When these lessons show up, it’s time for you to step back (even in crisis) and pay attention to what is happening around you and ask questions. The answers to these questions may give you a clue to what you do next and who you want to be during this life event.

When a crisis happens what helps you to put it all together? Do you have healthy coping skills that help you keep you together? Does the experience help you learn? What’s the “WOW!” factor for you? Are you able to make lemonade out of lemons?

I’d love to learn what helps you put it all together. The brainstorming, the sharing, creates ease for others.

Warmly

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, courage, crisis, happy, inner self, life, permission, purpose

Fresh Air

Coach Sue — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:42:05 +0000

Take a deep breath, feel the breeze on your face. You look up and see the blue sky and nature all around you. You hear the birds chirping near you, just waiting for someone at the nearby table to leave a crum. This is a comfortable afternoon at Starbuck’s, sipping on my drink and anticipating a meeting with someone new.

Meeting someone new is like a breath of fresh air while sitting outside relaxing, the wind swirling around you. A way of letting go of something stale, see your vision, and yet still sit with the familiar. There is electricity in the air, and you discover you are open, flexible, and present. It’s like a rose, slowly opening its petals. Fresh, beautiful, and full of color and life. Wow! Look at all this freedom surrounding you. You are right where you are supposed to be. The anticipation is mounting and the excitement is all about the sweetness of a cat nuzzling your face (if you like cats anyway).

The fresh air comes and I am content to have the sun on my smiling face, enjoying the summer day knowing that nature will always share something new at a moment’s notice.

Come sit with me and breathe in the fresh air.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, choice, dream, freedom, health, life, safety, stimulating the senses, trust, women

The One, Two, Step

Coach Sue — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 01:46:02 +0000

I wake up, and sleepy-eyed I start to create my day. I am a very busy girl and I love it. I am learning and growing in leaps and bounds to fit into the life I have envisioned for myself. The day is bright and sunny even if the fog in the San Francisco Bay Area lingers. The sun is in my heart. I lead and create from my heart. This is what I get out of bed for. My life has purpose now. I see where I am going with the ebb and flow of what life brings. I dance with the cycles of life and I welcome the unexpected as a gift. The talents I possess were always here, I just had a coach that knew how to bring them out. Now I create for myself.

When life has purpose humans are at their best. If you apply it to yourself, you can understand your reason for being. You can understand why you are on this planet. You want to know you can contribute in some way, that you are heard. There is some contentment that occurs here. A peace of knowing. A purpose for yourself means that you can create a plan with some certainty in life, and in the process also do the one, two, step when life throws a curve.

Just think, you’ve got so many possibilities in front of you when you find your purpose in life. You can use and develop your God-given talents in ways that are clear as a bell. Where do you want to start?

Come dance with me. Let’s learn a waltz or a samba. Your choice.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Filed under: Life Tagged: breast cancer, choice, courage, freedom, happy, inner self, purpose, trust, women