Dangerous Expectations

Recently, my husband went away on his own little adventure. Me? I was left alone with my sweet cat Sesame, my books, my writing, and anything else that suited my fancy. Still being somewhat humbled by my recent knee arthroscopy, I needed to be mindful of my physical limitations. I kept busy and had no expectations when my husband Larry would be home which included being alone on Valentine’s Day.

I could have had expectations that he would be home on Valentine’s Day and leave his own interests behind. That would have been a dangerous expectation. Setting myself up for disappointment, anger, feeling sorry for myself, or any number of other emotions. I chose to take the path of no expectations. If I had chosen the path of expecting my husband to come home for Valentine’s Day when he wasn’t ready to come home the outcome would have been so different. I would have wallowed in self-pity and Larry’s disappointment would have been equally clear. Because I chose the path of no expectations, the benefits definitely were abundant. Late afternoon on Valentine’s Day I received a beautiful bouquet with a balloon saying, “I love you.” I was very happy with my husband’s expression of love. He also made his way back home late Valentine’s Day instead of the following day. My husband’s appreciation was and is abundant! He is so happy he had his little adventure and he got home to celebrate a piece of Valentine’s Day with me.

What path do you normally choose? What path do you want to choose? Do you have dangerous expectations that take you down the road of so much disappointment? What if you embrace today, a mindset of never having expectations? Where do you think your stress would go then? How much freedom do you think that would give you?

Flying like a bird above the stressful crowd. Join my flock. The view is beautiful from up here.

Chirp chirp

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Sisterhood

I remember walking into the apartment like I was walking into an interview (and I had never really been interviewed before). I was nervous. Really? Who knew? I was 22 years old and I had no idea that I would be walking into my community of sisters that continues to this day. There was Kyle, Sharon, and Dolores wondering if I would fit in because I was a little sister for a fraternity.

As I sit here, I look at the photo collage that Dolores put together for the 7 of us, because now it also includes Rebbie, Terry, and Melinda (stories for another time). Sadly, we are missing Janielle in theses photos because we lost her to ovarian cancer. Reflectively I sit looking at this collage, because tomorrow we attend Dolores’ memorial service tomorrow. She lost her struggle with uterine sarcoma January 14.

SISTERS BY HEART

We’ve shared so much laughter,
Shared so many tears,
We’re a spiritual kinship,
that grows stronger each year,

We’re not sisters by birth,
but we knew from the start,
God put us together
to be sisters by heart.

To Dolores I say a loving “goodbye.” Physically she may no longer be with us, but she is laughing, telling stories, smiling down at those she has left. She is no longer in pain or suffering. I will remember her as a good friend and sister who made my life better because she was a part of it. I admire her strength and courage to stay until her body failed her. She loved well and deep with those whose lives she touched, including mine.

Farewell my friend,

Love,

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Go Gently ……..

Recently, I felt a lot of resistance to my transition into being a leader. I literally was having a saboteur convention. You can imagine the confusion, noise level, and fighting that was going on. The noise was so loud that my soul couldn’t get a word in edgewise and my inner little girl was cowering in a corner. I comforted her, and was gentle with myself. Giving myself permission to just let the messiness of confusion sort itself out.

I have since been able to open the door and let the convention go back to Vegas. I know there are times when this must have happened for you. Those little gremlins that tell you that “you aren’t good enough,” “you don’t fit in,” “nobody wants you to be a part of their party,” and on and on. They are nasty little pests. Some little lesson you learned as a child either one time, or over and over. Interesting how these gremlins become part of your psyche and often times they just camp out and stay, and stay. Getting you to protect the inner child and forgetting that you are now an adult and are no longer needed.

At times when the saboteurs, the gremlins, the voices, come out and decide you need protection, bring out the permission slips and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to, yes, play in the mud, and learn what your next step is. There is so much learning in that mud. Guess what? You get to leave the mud behind in the end and take only the good stuff out.

Go Gently…..and give yourself permission to be happy with what surfaces.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Escape to Your Life

Bounce, bounce, better hang on. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Ooh that’s a good shot. Stop!! Out come the cameras for the first picture of our 5 night safari. 48 hours after leaving California, we’re riding in a Land Rover experiencing the wild open spaces of the Balule Reserve in South Africa. Our Ranger Rex and our tracker Frans ( from Ezulwini Game Lodges )were our guides to adventure and of safety. Warthogs (Pumba from Lion King), Giraffes, Zebras, and the Big 5 ( elephants, water buffaloes, leopard, lions, and rhinos ), and most of all Impala, were our playmates while we were there. Fascinating, educational, and just plain fun.

Seth Grodin in his book “Tribes,” explains about a trip to Hawaii that enlightened him about his ability to work and play at the same time. He didn’t need a vacation to escape his life and I don’t either. I now know I escape to my life everyday. I am so grateful for the life I have and for what is to come. Life is exciting, adventurous, mysterious at times, and just plain fun. After 3 weeks in South Africa, I have pushed the pause button. Thank goodness, for I need the downtime.

Vacation is something you can blend into your whole life; your everyday life. You can set up an equilibrium with a change of scenery, even if it is just around your block, in your nearby park, and a fountain at your shopping center. Take a virtual break through music, movie, or an entertaining book. If you change just one aspect of your life, such as eating your cereal with a fork, what would that look like? What would you do? So many possibilities in front of you.

There lies an open world in front of you. An escape of sunshine and lollipops to taste and feel in your life. A balanced teeter totter. Just look, and ask. Something will show up to show you that escaping to your life is better than escaping from your life. I hear a sigh of relief from you…..do you hear it?

Are you looking for the elusive carrot to have it all? Take my hand and I’ll show you.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Sounds of Silence

Wind blowing through the trees and the fall leaves dropping to the ground; the flutter of wings as a hummingbird flies by, a squirrel chattering at my cat as they face each other on the back fence; these are the sounds of silence. Taking moments of silence to just sit with the sun shining on my face. If I sit really still I can hear sounds I didn’t know were there before and I get more curious.

I hear the lyrics of Simon & Garfunkel’s song, “The Sounds of Silence,” which speaks of seeking truth and is it really in the silence. Silence can hand you truth on a platter. Silence can help you process your truth. Silence allows you to formulate a plan for your truth. Speaking and reaching out helps you share your truth and give others a glimpse into who you are. What a powerful gift silence can be! Silence can support your coping skills to help manage the stresses of life (yes, another story). There’s a lot of juicy, gooey stuff in your silence.

When you take that 5 minutes, 15 minutes, half hour, however how much silence you are able to give yourself; look into the silence. Let any thoughts that present themselves to you fly away like a hummingbird. Then open your eyes and find your words to present yourself to the world and run with it. Test it out and see what information comes back to you.

I’m looking under the sounds of silence; for my sweet song, the smell of a flower, the chattering squirrel. Be curious with me and let me know what you find.

I hear you in the sounds of silence.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Anticipation

“Anticipation, anticipation,” sings Carly Simon. This is what you feel when you are preparing for something new. Something new, creates a feeling of adventure. Exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I have many exciting upcoming events. Irina Wardas, HHC AADP will interview me on her blogtalk radio show, Thursday October 27. This week I continue my leadership class with a retreat for 5 days, and I leave for South Africa on a well deserved vacation we won through an auction last February at the Ragin Cajun Fundraising Event for the Sandra J. Wing Foundation. A lot to anticipate, and where does that leave “here?”

Preparation is key to having a productive and organized life. It helps to keep chaos at bay and deserves some attention. Once that preparation and planning is complete, then where does the “now” come into play? Because truly, this is really where you live. If you live in the past you miss the present and the future. You wring your hands over what might have been. If you live in the future, the planning is forgotten, the intention is……(where?), and you miss the laughter of your family, the lick on your face from your dog when you arrive home, and the pleasantness of being alone with yourself. Living here and now means I get to smile every time I write a word in this blog.

Where do you live? Here and now? Lamenting about the best times in your past? Anticipating the future with all the anxiety that goes with it?

Stay here with me. Listen to the silence, feel the touch from loved ones, smell the roses, and savor that delicious dessert.

I’m savoring my time with you.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Come a Little Closer

Recently, I learned more about a classmate and friend. We were thrown together by fate for a project (which is another story). My impression or assumption of her initially is that she is a straight shooter and when the chips are down she will tell you what she thinks. An admirable trait. Being thrown together on this project took my assumptions to a new level. There are parts about my friend that are totally unexpected and although may not have surprised me it made me want to scratch my head and go, mmmmm, ok. Then we laugh and laugh about just being silly. That part feels oh so fun.

Dropping your assumptions about someone brings your relationship to a whole new level. Your connection becomes stronger, you can relax, and the façade drops away. In the process, your veil drops to the floor as well and you get a little closer. Your relationship develops into something more accepting, deeper, and forgiving. You find you have more in common than you thought and you bond. Your support bubble becomes bigger and some place softer to land or just bouncy, meaning you pick yourself up faster. You get that leg up and that hand up that you needed. Something to celebrate and go “aaaahhhh.”

Letting someone a little closer creates something bigger than yourself. A creative environment which you build upon each other like a pyramid.

Come be creative with me. Come a little closer and get to know me. I’m ready to give you a hand up or a leg up, whichever you need most.

Let’s build your creation story together.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Putting it all Together

Colors, patterns, textures. All design elements used to re-design a bathroom as we did to our outdated bathrooms last year. By themselves, each element we selected was beautiful, together they became the whole package. The look, the feel, that under your breath, and out loud…….WOW!

So goes life. For years you’ve tried to figure out what your life is all about. Sometimes you think you have it all together. Then a crisis occurs and everything seems to fall apart. You feel like you’re back at square one. Along the way of going through life you’ve developed some skills; ones that help you cope, others that help you learn. When these lessons show up, it’s time for you to step back (even in crisis) and pay attention to what is happening around you and ask questions. The answers to these questions may give you a clue to what you do next and who you want to be during this life event.

When a crisis happens what helps you to put it all together? Do you have healthy coping skills that help you keep you together? Does the experience help you learn? What’s the “WOW!” factor for you? Are you able to make lemonade out of lemons?

I’d love to learn what helps you put it all together. The brainstorming, the sharing, creates ease for others.

Warmly

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Fresh Air

Take a deep breath, feel the breeze on your face. You look up and see the blue sky and nature all around you. You hear the birds chirping near you, just waiting for someone at the nearby table to leave a crum. This is a comfortable afternoon at Starbuck’s, sipping on my drink and anticipating a meeting with someone new.

Meeting someone new is like a breath of fresh air while sitting outside relaxing, the wind swirling around you. A way of letting go of something stale, see your vision, and yet still sit with the familiar. There is electricity in the air, and you discover you are open, flexible, and present. It’s like a rose, slowly opening its petals. Fresh, beautiful, and full of color and life. Wow! Look at all this freedom surrounding you. You are right where you are supposed to be. The anticipation is mounting and the excitement is all about the sweetness of a cat nuzzling your face (if you like cats anyway).

The fresh air comes and I am content to have the sun on my smiling face, enjoying the summer day knowing that nature will always share something new at a moment’s notice.

Come sit with me and breathe in the fresh air.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

The One, Two, Step

I wake up, and sleepy-eyed I start to create my day. I am a very busy girl and I love it. I am learning and growing in leaps and bounds to fit into the life I have envisioned for myself. The day is bright and sunny even if the fog in the San Francisco Bay Area lingers. The sun is in my heart. I lead and create from my heart. This is what I get out of bed for. My life has purpose now. I see where I am going with the ebb and flow of what life brings. I dance with the cycles of life and I welcome the unexpected as a gift. The talents I possess were always here, I just had a coach that knew how to bring them out. Now I create for myself.

When life has purpose humans are at their best. If you apply it to yourself, you can understand your reason for being. You can understand why you are on this planet. You want to know you can contribute in some way, that you are heard. There is some contentment that occurs here. A peace of knowing. A purpose for yourself means that you can create a plan with some certainty in life, and in the process also do the one, two, step when life throws a curve.

Just think, you’ve got so many possibilities in front of you when you find your purpose in life. You can use and develop your God-given talents in ways that are clear as a bell. Where do you want to start?

Come dance with me. Let’s learn a waltz or a samba. Your choice.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

Kindness Challenge

Some of you have seen the movie “UP.” It’s a wonderful touching animation movie which shows the adventures of a lifetime if you pay attention. It made me laugh and cry. I loved the dogs…….”squirrel!”

The story that hit close to home was being kind to one another. An old codger that doesn’t know what to do now that the love of his life is gone. He’s then befriended by a young man who reminds him what kindness can bring, but I’m not going to share the entire story. How many of you have been confronted with the choice of being kind or letting your ego get in your way and speaking it’s mind? Sometimes, it can be a bit of a conflict. The results of being kind to another person is a bit like paying it forward. How you treat someone ultimately begets a response to yourself, but also to the next person you encounter as well, and so on. Its empowerment at its passive best.

If you are kind to one another, do you actually have that much impact? You do. Haven’t you had someone cut you off in traffic and then find yourself cranky afterward? Maybe come home and kick the dog? Much in the same way, if someone opens the door for you or you get a “thank you” you didn’t expect, it goes on to the next person. Suddenly, you can conquer the world. Wow, what would that reveal? How would that feel?

We’ve all got someone we would like to treat with more respect; with a more loving nature. What have you done today to make an impact on others? Start a new level of kindness, one of awareness of your impact on others, instead of the adage, “give what you get,” turn it around and practice “kindness begets kindness.” Make a kindness pact to see your impact on others and see what you get back in return. I challenge you today to see what happens when you treat others with kindness. Be aware of what will happen if you treat 10 people with exceptional kindness during this week. The message of “UP,” that kindness makes lives happier and more fulfilling may surprise you. Feel the empowerment it gives you, feel the smile on your face.

With my own Kindest Regards

Coach Sue

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Time Bandits

Time. Is it plentiful or is it stolen by bandits of the busyness of life? This summer has been an interesting one for my time management. We’ve been busy with parties, commitments to family, fun, rewarding projects, and me starting a business. When one gets this busy you start wishing for a little down time.

I’ve always believed I never have enough time to do everything I want to do. However, is that really true? There are activities I really enjoy doing, but somehow the time for those fun hobbies I want to add to my life, slip away. Starting a business takes time, right? What about the time I need to allocate for doing the everyday stuff; and oh yeah, forget about the time devoted to my day job. Life is supposed to be all about balance, right? Fun and recreation of my own choosing seems to take a back seat to other commitments.

What are your time bandits? Do you really need to do that last errand? What about cleaning up that last spec of dirt, that only the cat might find amusing? What’s really important to you? What would happen if you let some of that busy busy work go, or if you actually spent time “talking” with your family or friends instead of filtering it through the TV or the computer? What if you just said “No,” to another task or another commitment? How would your life be different? These are questions I ask myself as well, and still, I find time bandits challenging.

Where do you find yourself coming up short of time? What would you rather do, but find yourself saying, “I can’t because I have to do blah.”? Where do YOU come into the picture then? I challenge you this week to look at the choices you are making according to the time available and see if those choices are actually ones that belong to you or to somebody else.

Cheers,

Coach Sue

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Saying Goodbye

Closure. Saying goodbye. Loss. Memories. Oooh. I like the last one the best, memories. Recently, a friend passed away through, I guess you could call it a quirk of fate. Tragic because of the circumstances and the abruptness of it all, but oh, the life he led while we were gifted with his presence. I’m smiling right now, remembering the stories told by friends and family. I can say this, this friend lived his life like most people would like to. He lived life with passion, with laughter, and with love.

Some see death as loss, and others see death as a natural process of life. I consider it the latter. Is this because I am in the delivery of health care or is it because I choose to celebrate someone’s life rather than mourn the loss of a friend or family member. I don’t know. Sadness still occurs, because you have the pain of loss, but I believe there is something to hold dear about life and that it is to be honored, and given that, to be lived with passion.

Saying goodbye isn’t always about death like my friend’s instance, but it also be saying goodbye to other instances. For example, it can be saying hello to a new lifestyle, a new way of thinking, or a new or forgotten passion. What do you believe about saying goodbye? Do you say goodbye or let go of a loved one or circumstance, cherish or forget the memory, then say hello to something new? Or do you continually say goodbye without letting go, thus staying stuck where you are feeling stagnant, but don’t know why?

Where do you want to “live” with your life? Squirrel away what you fear to lose or embrace what is right in front of you waiting for you to take a step? Do you cherish life and live to it’s fullness like my friend did? What’s stopping you from living with passion, laughter, and love? What legacy do you want people to keep when they say their goodbye to you?

I choose to live my life with passion, what about you?

Cheers,

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Perfection is Overrated

“Of course I’m perfect!” says the cry of most egos. As a nurse, working in a field that requires perfection is a tough spot to be placed in at times. As a patient, “Oops,” is a word you don’t want to hear a doctor or a nurse utter. Aside from that, perfection, as described by Wikipedia, “a state of completeness and flawlessness..” I find this concept interesting and a bit baffling. How as humans are we capable of perfection? A friend of mine recently commented on my concept of not being perfect, her instant reaction was, “I don’t want to be mediocre!” So, of course, I had to refer to Webster’s definition of mediocre, “moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance.” I scratch my head about a perfectionist equating “not being perfect” with being mediocre. But then again, a perfectionist might only see anything less than perfect a complete and utter failure. This is why I’ve come to the conclusion that being perfect is overrated, because perfectionism sets you up to fail. It’s your attitude or belief that determines winning or losing.

How many times have you yourself, your parents, or others, put you down because you “weren’t perfect.” The question is, perfect in whose eyes? Who’s standards are we trying to meet? Are those standards even attainable? Yes, there is accountability in all these aspects of striving for perfection. And, yes, I believe accountability is something that is required to keep us on track to reach any goals or desires that we want to achieve. I believe, in striving for perfection we have failures, and this is where we truly learn, experiment, and find new avenues of creativity, direction, and accidental discovery. What brings me to this belief? The fact we do not live in a vacuum and we are just imperfect human beings, after all. Just think of the experiences ahead of us if we are willing to take this less than perfect route through life instead of being paralyzed by the idea of perfection?

To me, “not being perfect” doesn’t mean mediocrity, it just means we as humans struggle constantly with the idea of being perfect. This doesn’t mean we stop striving for perfection, it just means we stop beating ourselves up for being less than perfect. What chatter in your head tells you that you are not good enough? When IS something good enough? What do you want? Do you want to live with overrated perfection and be miserable at not achieving it, or do you want to live with being human, less than perfect, and happy?

Strive for perfection live with what is good enough, and you’ll be surprised at what the universe brings to your table.

Cheers,

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Without Flexibility You Break

I’m already getting the willies from this title. The thought of rigidity brings to mind someone who is closed minded, unwilling to change, negative (ooh… shiver), and “perfect.” Are you getting the picture? How much flexibility do you think you’d get from that kind of person? This black and white thinking feels like there’s only “my way or the highway.” If you have this type of persona you might be terribly shocked to find out people will resist you; and then you’ll wonder why.

Life is all about flexibility. Living in the moment, or being able to adapt to life’s funny little hiccups, will get you much further on this planet we call Earth. For example, I grew up in a very strict household. It had a lot of love, but not much in the way of flexibility. If you were out of line (standards of course created by my parents) then you were punished, simple as that. As the only girl in a sea of brothers, it was even more intensified for me. I was restricted in spreading my wings, or so called independence. What did this do for me? Protect me? Ha! I certainly am now relearning how to live my life.

Does rigidity provide security? Please don’t fool yourself. Rigidity may provide some sense of safety, but in reality that is an illusion. How do you cope with those hiccups of life I mentioned earlier? Are you REALLY able to cope? Where do you want to live (in your head, of course)? Your choice….. being open to bending like a willow tree in the wind, or being rigid like a bone which can easily fracture if tested.

You might wonder, “How do I live flexibility?” Wow! The possibilities are endless. First, just asking the question opens a lot of doors and windows. Start bringing to the table an open mind; a mind that accepts possibilities. Life is not a one way street of, just one street. It’s full of freeways, cross streets, interchanges, overpasses, 2 lane roads (Ok, you get the picture).

What I want for YOU is that you’re able to cope with the ups and downs of life with grace and dignity and not grasping at whatever chemical you think helps you survive. I want you to more than survive, and that requires flexibility. I want you to grow, prosper, AND LIVE!

Cheers,

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Peanut Gallery

The chattering in your head aren’t “voices” you are hearing (well for some that might be the case, and I see an appointment for an MD in your future soon); but the gremlins or saboteurs that constantly tell you, “your no good,” or “you haven’t enough guts,” or “you don’t deserve it.” These “little monsters” or gremlins, or whatever you want to name them (for me it’s “Peanut Gallery”), think they have your best interest at heart, but in reality they seem to be protecting you from “old news,” not new evidence or experiences presented for further review.

I had a little chat with one of the members of my “peanut gallery” tonight. Her name is “Scaredy Cat.” A little girl about 3 with short curly blond hair. Very cute and very scared. So scared that she’s kept me stuck in my struggle with weight loss for the past 10 years. She’s been so scared that staying stuck at my current weight is where she feels the safest. Until our talk tonight, she was afraid of success and failure. No wonder I have been stuck. During our talk, we discovered she would feel safest if we took our journey together (yeah, I know seems a little silly), and that no matter what I do,we will do it together. I will keep her safe. She now has comfort that she will have a close companion on this journey called life. I can’t say she was thrilled, but at least now, we can move forward together, with us both reassured empowerment has more meaning than fear.

The “peanut gallery” as you can see, can be a very powerful force in your development as a human being. You can call those crafty little devils whatever you want, your board of directors, or your backseat drivers. The question is…….who’s the one who is actually sitting in the proverbial driver’s seat? You or your “peanut gallery?” This is an important message, and a topic most of you rarely think about, I am sure. Who would have thunk that these little voices in our heads possess so much power? What power do you really want to give them? What power do YOU want to maintain? Are you victim or courageous? I don’t know about you, but I prefer being the one with the power and escorting my peanut gallery to a more mature way of life, having fun in the process.

As I write this blog, I feel a sense of relief. A relief that I am now the protector instead of the protected. Being the protector empowers me, not control (that’s another topic), but it gives me the power to make positive decisions for myself. In the future, I may have input from my “peanut gallery,” but in essence they are the ones sitting in the audience and I’m the one speaking. WOW! That feels wonderful!

Cheers,

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Write a New Story and See What YOU Become

When I write these blogs, I write what seems to feel right at the moment. I recently heard someone say, “You can write a new story.” This was referring to someone re-writing their future. This really made me sit up and listen and absorb that concept. I’ve heard many references to creating your own future, creating a bigger life, etc. This tiny little phrase really had an impact.

Before becoming an RN, in a land far far away, long, long, ago, I felt a bit lost. Something wasn’t quite right. Then I lost a job and my life took a new direction. I temporarily took a job that, although I loved the people, was really not something that I loved or even liked that much. I learned a lot during that time period and it forced my hand to look at, “what next?” Through much support from family, I turned my direction 180 degrees to something I wanted to be when I was 4 years old….a nurse.

Here I sit again with another story, one of being a nurse, very satisfied with my nursing career, but looking to the future and, “what next?” This led me to question so many aspects of my life and again I felt lost. Therapy helped me through my divorce years, but there were still unanswered questions(and I didn’t want to analyze anything). That’s how I discovered the benefits of life coaching. I had no idea it would lead me to my own career as a life coach and still enable me to do my other love, which is nursing.

If you think this story is my greatest story, my friends, you are delusional. My new story is still in development. I have yet to tap (although the path is running up to meet me) into what is ahead of me. My real story is here and what is beyond the near horizon. It is so far beyond and exciting that it takes my breath away. Through my own sessions with my coach, I see the possibilities, I’m changing my beliefs, I see the truth of what is; and I’m beginning to trust that it (meaning life) will always turn out the way it’s supposed to. Throw in a good sense of humor from the universe or God and you’ve got one hell of a ride.

What story do YOU want to write? This isn’t about a legacy you leave, if that’s what you are thinking. This is about who or what you want from your life. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT! See what you can become. What possibilities for modeling or example can you create by becoming something so much more? You are probably wondering “how is that possible?” Influencing others by just living our own lives then urges others to create their own possibilities (this is a whole other topic). I’m so excited while I’m writing that I can just feel that those of you reading this blog will see or feel that your lives can be more than you ever dreamed.

Create YOUR own new story. Just change something in your life, read a book that inspires you (even ficiton can be inspirational….my inspiration: Harry Potter), talk with a friend or family member about life’s possibilities, or hire a coach to get you to the possibility of YOUR “New Story.”

My vision for you is to be happy, create a new story for yourself, and pass that on to inspire others.

With Kindest Regards

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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The Reality of Mortality

There are 2 things certain in life, “death and taxes.” I guess none of us will get out of here alive. What brings this up? My mother-in-law recently passed away after a brief illness. It really puts perspective on what is ahead in life. To question purpose, “why am I here?” To question, “who am I now?” The latter because who are you when you become the “old guard” in the family rather than part of the younger generation? The reality is………I’m passing into a new phase of life.

What will I do in this new phase? Do I want to just sit by and do the same ol’ thing? Do I want to take on risky behavior? Or do I choose to look at the reality of these mortality questions, the truth, and live from that perspective. This means preparing for my future and living in the present and not let this new phase define me. To live and not regret my choices. To make choices from a broad perspective, in other words, no limitations. After all, 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, etc. The baby boomers have chosen to no longer be defined by their age and rightly so.

The reality is, mortality exists whenever that might come. I can’t just curl up and ignore it. If I am the ostrich with it’s head in the sand life will pass me by. That would just be a sad case of denial. What about you? What reality do you want to live? Because if it isn’t truth then the reality of mortality will come with a disappointing outcome. Your life will be one of continuing disappointment and ignorance of the pleasures of life. Joy will pass you by.

I choose joy over regretting that mortality exists. What about you?

With Kindest Regards

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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Embracing Uncertainty, or Trust, the Final Frontier

Trust, how hard is it? For me it’s been an elusive journey. Exposing myself to vulnerability; that the uncertainty which lies ahead will be what it will be. Que sera, sera. Just think, what a ride that could be. To trust, no matter what, the outcome will be for the best, whether it’s what you expected or not. Because the outcome is never as bad as you imagine. I’m sure you are saying, “so you say.” Think back about your experiences, and your anticipatory anxiety/worry about a situation. Did you die in the process of getting to the end of that particular journey? I think not (especially if you’re reading this). That’s the crux of it all. To trust that nothing bad will happen. To trust that you will be ok. To trust that your life will be for the better even if you don’t see the reason. To trust that the universe or God has a plan to let you learn in your own time if you pay attention. To essentially take a leap of faith that your world will not “REALLY” fall apart.

What would happen if you tweaked your perspective? To actually trust, be happy during your journey, and rather than being tied or attached to the outcome, practice trusting that your soul will be available for guidance if you need it? The freedom it would create! If you trust, you live with truth, you live with happiness, you just plain LIVE. The fear that’s been holding you back can be released and your life will reflect the freedom you feel.

For some of you this may seem so very far away from your reality and your uncertainty gets the best of you. Digging deep for the trust, the faith, seems so unavailable and unreal to you. I totally understand. Because that was the same for me. I’m getting much closer to this reality of trust. If you have little experience with trust you’re probably scratching your head right now. Well, trust leads to truth and truth is reality. The question then is, do you want to live in an unhappy fantasy world or be happy living in the real world?

What do you think your life would be like if you live with trust? To let go of the control you’ve fiercely held on to and live in the here and now will be scary at first, but in the end, a relief that your responsibility ends with the here and now. Live by choosing the journey and trusting uncertainty to take care of itself. I have no control of the outcome and neither do you, even if you think you do. The plan of action? Trust that embracing will be in your best interest. BE COURAGEOUS!

Cheers

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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The Magic of Christmas

“Every time a bell rings an angel gets it’s wings.” Anybody remember that line from “It’s a Wonderful Life”? That’s the joy I feel at Christmas. I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of year because of the happiness people feel, the joy people get from sharing with others. Watching Christmas movies, cruising the neighborhoods to view Christmas lights, watching children in anticipation of Santa, and the true meaning of the Christmas season. The joy that emanates from others and myself energizes me; it fuels my own joy. This is the magic of Christmas.

It’s amazing how much an attitude can influence you. If someone is angry don’t you feel the tension in the room? Isn’t laughter infectious? What kind of emotion/attitude do you want to feel during this time of year? Depression runs high during the Christmas season, often, because expectations don’t fit the reality of the season. Consider this…… what if you fit the reality into your expectations? What if you create a new Christmas reality that you want then see others follow you? What if your reality and your expectations meet in the middle? What if the creation of YOUR NEW Christmas reality really becomes more important than the expectations? Just think…..what if the new reality is better than your expectations? No sacrifice, just different. What infinitesimal possibilities would that bring to you! Gifts you didn’t even expect, I suspect. Quite magical too. It just makes me so excited, because I want everyone to enjoy Christmas like I do.

What do you really want for Christmas? Your two front teeth? No, really, what kind Christmas experience do you want this year? What expectation do you want to let go or modify? In what way do you want to honor the true Christmas spirit? Give it a thought, rather, give it a feel, and see what MAGIC you create.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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When Do YOU Come First?

Self-care, a novel idea for most of you. For me too, but I’m learning. As a nurse, we tell our families they need to take of themselves so they can take care of their loved ones when they are better. We forget to take our own advice.

What does putting yourself first mean to you? When was the last time you were first in your life? You’re probably asking yourself, how can I put myself first? I don’t have the time. Really? What if you look at what you consider your priorities? “What?” you say. Everything I do NEEDS to be done. Is that really 100% true? Everything may need to be done in your book, but the question is, when? Today, tomorrow, now? The kids need me, I have commitments at work, my husband or wife needs me to do blah, I have to wash my hair…. I know all the excuses, I’ve used them all (well most of them anyway).

When ARE you first? When do you get to take a moment, minutes, an hour, just for you? When your tank is filled up, you then have the capacity to actually give more. Look at the times you’ve reached your breaking point. Chances are, if you had a moment or longer to yourself that breaking point wouldn’t have happened.

The biggest point in all this is……you DESERVE to have those moments to yourself. Stop over scheduling, stop meeting everybody else’s needs before yours. You DESERVE a life that doesn’t “belong” to anyone else. You DESERVE to be first after all these years. You DESERVE to be rich with self-care to give more to everyone else.

WHEN WILL YOU START COMING FIRST? When will the excuses stop? I’d love to hear your comments

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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What’s in Your Backpack?

I just saw the movie “Up in the Air,” to prepare for the upcoming Academy Awards Ceremonies. It is terrifically acted and has a well thought out plot with a thought-provoking theme. Thus, here I am with an inspiration for my blog.

Part of the script calls for a presentation about a backpack and what goes into the backpack. Without giving away the plot, I found the backpack to be a rather profound metaphor for the baggage we all carry. Stuff the backpack with your old “stuff,” toss it away, then invite new ideas, thoughts, and purpose into your life. For myself, I want a life that fulfills me. One that is re-energizing me daily, and lets me live my life with an ease, a grace, that invites an adventure, if you will. Because no matter how you look at it, life is an adventure.

If you’re overwhelmed with life, feel lost because you’ve lost your way, your purpose, then fill your backpack with your “stuff,” open up your life, and allow change to happen. Connect or reconnect with yourself. If you need help with that process, let me partner with you. I’ll provide a safe environment for you to invite change and find your real purpose.

I’m holding a safe place for you. Do you dare to step into it?

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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R U a Tightrope Walker, Part 1

Picture yourself as a tightrope walker in a circus. Look closely at your clothes, your ballet slippers. See yourself prepping those slippers so you don’t fall off the tightrope. Smell the chalk that you rub on the slippers, the animals that share the big tent, the sawdust. Now picture yourself on the platform under the big tent. The spotlight is focused on you; the tension is palpable. Feel the tightrope and how your feet feel on it, how you bounce and slightly sway as you take that first step. Now your total concentration is on your balance and the goal is to stay on the rope. You have no net below you. The audience first cheers your appearance, then hushes as you take that first step on the tightrope. With your total concentration, everything else falls away. You’re thinking only of staying on the rope. Now, tell me, is this how your life feels?

Life is all about balance, but if you concentrate so hard, so diligently on one aspect of your life, what happens to the rest of your life? Is it in balance? Or does it become more about control, or the lack of control, irregardless about what else is going on in your life? Just think about the tightrope and how you have to concentrate about staying on the rope. This type of balance or the illusion of balance creates a sense of urgency, a sense that you’re going to fall and fail. What kind of support comes to your aid? Or, do you have any support at all?

If your balanced life feels more about control than about real balance, then aren’t you just setting yourself up to fail and falling off the tightrope?

A life of balance without control becomes a life of ease and happiness. If you have true balance, the sigh of relief you just felt, is you getting your life back.

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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R U a Tightrope Walker, Part 2

In my last blog, I talked about a tightrope walker having to concentrate and control to stay on the rope in order to maintain balance. In this blog entry we’ll concentrate on a different perspective.

The perspective from this tightrope walker means staying on the tightrope is balance without control. You’re able to walk even back and forth on the rope without effort. Everything comes together and without concentration. You are in the zone, so to speak.

Life is a balancing act. It’s about keeping life in perspective and staying on the tightrope, having a safety net, and feeling so supported that even bouncing on the rope doesn’t knock you off (in other words, life’s little bumps or ups and downs). Staying balanced means being centered, not overloading your schedule, relying on others to do their part and creating not just a safety net, but a platform. Picture this, you are so balanced, that the rope actually becomes a platform with you walking down the center. That really feels like you are in the zone, right?

We all struggle at one time or another to balance our lives. So, ask yourself, “What am I willing to say yes to? What am I willing to say no to?” When you ask yourself these questions it becomes clear what is most important to you. If you answer these questions then choices are easy. You then feel the choices are yours and balance becomes the “rule” instead of the “exception.” Man, that sounds pretty doggone good, doesn’t it?

What “yes” will make your life about balance?

Coach Sue
http://couragetoadventure.com

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To Infinity and Beyond!

I love Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear’s reference to his adventures. It inspires me. My recent adventure was a trip to Europe to celebrate our 5th year wedding anniversary. I always have a good time on my travels because I love to travel. Without a doubt, it is my passion. Just as Buzz expresses his enthusiasm, I know I light up even when I speak about my next trip. All my senses are heightened, and I am even more open to looking at life through different “eyes.” Travel gives me fresh perspectives.

Bringing that passion, that sense of adventure, back to my every day life is key to living my own everyday adventure. I want to maintain the curiosity and the passion, to have my own inspiration. I have to smile about this, because I do have little adventures in my everyday life, e.g., trying a new cereal, reading a new book, and definitely watching movies. In other words, adventure is about what brings a little spring into your step, or the curiosity the prompts you to peak around that next corner. I don’t skydive, or do any other extreme sports, but I do find adventure in the world we all live in.

Where do you find adventure? What brings that spring into your step so you can also quote Buzz Lightyear with confidence and say, “To Infinity and Beyond!”

Cheers

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Adventure in your own Backyard

When you seek adventure, you need or yearn for something new. It’s about smacking your lips around a new food or discovering a new friend. It’s as simple as that. Adventure creates a fresh perspective and some excitement in your life. It creates vibrancy! A vibrancy that exposes happiness and a purpose.

The movie “Date Night” comes to mind on this latter example. How it plays is, a couple finds adventure by making an impulsive decision because of desperation and frustration, then the adventure begins. Once they finish their adventure (because I don’t want to give the fun away) a fresh perspective shines on their private life and a new adventure emerges. In other words, they had their adventure in their own backyard, they just couldn’t see it.

Recently, I went on my own adventure and it was about facing a fear by taking an intro to flying instruction. Yes, it was scary, but it also taught me something about myself. I need to have some adventure to feel that vibrancy. To be aware of what is around me and the excitement can be something quite simple (like watching a hummingbird at my feeder). It’s again about being aware of the adventure in our everyday lives. The adventure doesn’t have to be scary or fearful, it is about stimulating the senses and enjoying what life has to offer.

So where do you find your adventure? At home, at work, or just wherever you are?

Close your eyes and let your senses be stimulated.

Cheers

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Courageous Acts

When courage comes up in a conversation, people have a tendency to shy away from the topic. Have you noticed? What is it about courage that brings out this kind of reaction? I believe people feel, they, themselves, are afraid of their own courage. I believe that they, have the courage, but they do not know how to tap into it yet.

Let’s explore the possibilities of courage. Get a picture in your mind of what courage might look like to you. Have it twirl slowly, take a step forward, take a step back, and then check what it would feel like dancing with courage and bring it closer to you. Now, does it feel like a beautiful woman, a handsome man, or a ferocious lion that might eat you (yeah, I’m smiling). This exercise is to get you to experience courage on a different level. So give yourself a break, and permission, to try courage on for size, like a new pair of shoes (yes, they can be Jimmy Choo’s or Prada). Feel how comfortable it feels. Wow, feels a bit surreal, huh?

I’m encouraging you to take some steps toward courage because the act of doing a courageous act can take you to new levels of inspiration and perspective. This can show more about yourself and your vast capabilities. Dreams really can come true with even small acts of courage.

After wearing the courage for a time, take time to put it into action and see what develops. I’ll be curious to hear what happens. Let me know.

Courageous Cheers for you!

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Dark, Damp, and Scary

Dark, damp, searching for just….. the right spot, ah found it. This is me crawling through a cave with claustrophobia. Fearful of not being able to get through a tight spot known as pancake. Telling myself I can get through this; that the claustrophobia is only in my mind and I will not get stuck. Positive self-talk is as powerful as negative self-talk. Periodically I challenge myself so I know that I can walk the talk with you, and my clients.

Taking courage to the next level can be scary for anyone. Consider this, most fears are irrational and come from experiences we were exposed to as children. However, now that you’re an adult the fear doesn’t quite fit into your life anymore even though the fear claims loudly that it does. So what do you do now? How do you unlearn a fear? Where do you get the courage to face the irrational fear, you might ask?

Well, the real question is, where do you feel you might find courage? It’s there for the asking if you choose to ask the question. Courage comes from deep within you. It can come when you need it the most, and surprise you when it does. We all have courage, but many keep it hidden, because for some reason, somewhere in your mind, fear keeps you safe.

Cheers

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Put one Foot in Front of the Other

Change. I imagine this word, change, brings up a lot of fear in you right now. The word change carries a lot of energy with it. Some “good,” some “boing!” I hope this represents to you what it does for me. It’s about sitting up straight in your chair and paying attention to what is about to happen. Hyper-vigilance is key.

But…..guess what? Change is constant. There is no such thing as stasis in the real world (if you are theorist you might think differently). Even when you are sitting still, the environment around you is changing, even at the cellular level (yep, took my microscope out and looked). The trees blowing in the breeze, a car backing out of a parking space, and even the ticking of the clock. See my point? Do these examples bring up fear in you? I thought not; then how does taking a well placed step in your own life, bring a gulp to your throat?

What do you want to do now that you have this different perception about change? It will be your friend if you let it. It’s about letting go of the status quo. What if you decide, now, in this moment, to take your first step toward change? See what it brings, because change is inevitable. Put your cup of coffee in a different spot on your desk tomorrow morning.

Just put one foot in front the other this week, and see where life takes you.

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Out of Choice comes Change

Change and choice reminds me of one of my favorite movies, “Sliding Doors,” with Gwyneth Paltrow. It is about all the tiny decisions we make from the multitude of choices presented. What happens if in a split second you choose something different from normal? With that said, your life can change in an instant. Like a compass, the direction you point is up to you.

There are hundreds of decisions you make a day. These decisions take you down a road of predictability or unpredictability. They are usually made with just a blink of the eye (Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell) . When you make even the tiniest decision what will your life become? Decisions can hugely impact your life or not at all. If you are paying attention the signs are there like a blazing neon sign or a simple breath of fresh air.

See what this life holds for you? See what is available? Are you curious? Decisions are a part of everyday life. What do you want, a life of change or a life that keeps you stuck in the same old place doing the same old thing? It is a simple choice. What do you choose?

Cheers

Coach Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Free to be You

Picture yourself walking through a magical door into your outrageously ideal world. It’s full of lifelong dreams, people you love or will love, a perfect job, adventure, or maybe even visualizing yourself as a life-like James Bond or Oprah Winfrey. This is the gift of the freedom, or free will. When you are free to make decisions based on available choices (and there are many), you are free to live your dream, without guilt or worry.

Free will is attractive to me. It is a sense of flying wherever I want; a sense that I can make any decision I want without worry. With that said, free will possesses 2 caveats, the accountability factor, and the ability to change your mind. Accountability of course, is taking responsibility for any decisions. The good part is….. yes, you can change your mind if you didn’t get the result you wanted with your first, second, third, or any number of choices. Flexibility and trust now present, create a sense of freedom. That’s the beauty of free will.

What does free will mean to you? How do you feel when you give yourself permission to change your mind? Sounds pretty powerful to me. I want the power of free will. What about you? Do you want to live your life stuck with a decision you made, or be free to make another choice that is more meaningful to you?

I am skipping to a playful tune like a child, enjoying life, knowing I make my choices freely. Skip with me and feel free to be you.

Cheers

Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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Sweet Surrender, Sweet Freedom

I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. A humbling experience to say the least. As I am still stumbling through the process of diagnosis and future treatment, it occurred to me that I have tried to control the process and collect data. This is what I would call a normal response to a situation that most everyone would consider a possible life-threatening disease. As an ICU nurse, all my antennae are up and I am looking for answers. Why me? What next? What can I do to make the process smoother and more palatable? Where do I find more answers? Then, last night I realized none of these questions or answers really matter.

For years I have struggled to discover evidence of how to create a better life for myself. The answer, though, is really right in front of me. I have no control of any of my situations (philosophically I’ve known this). My reactions or actions are the only behaviors I can choose for myself. There is no control; that would show I have no choice in any given situation. You always have choice, even if the choice is to do nothing.

So, what do I want to choose here? I choose surrender over defeat. According to Wikipedia, “To surrender in spirituality and religion means that a believer completely gives up his own will and subjects his thoughts, ideas, and deeds to the will and teachings of a higher power.” Or, “in which sense it is an antonym of hostility, signifying something akin to acceptance of one’s own nature and that of the world.” In my mind’s eye, I always associated surrender with defeat. Defeat however, means oppression or a lost cause. There is no fight and you have no choice. Surrender is a choice where I win, and so does everyone else. To me it is not a passive action. When you surrender, you take a powerful stand, are open to choices, and live proactively. The resistance I have put up, is really just a struggle against myself, and provides no purpose. In the medical genre, it is “contraindicated.” With sweet (choice is here) surrender, sweet freedom arrives on my doorstep. I embrace it lovingly.

Wouldn’t you rather have sweet surrender and sweet freedom over defeat and no choice?

Cheers

Sue

http://couragetoadventure.com

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The Land of Oz

The Land of Oz

We all want our dreams to come true. We want the perfect car, the perfect house, perfect spouse, and family, and quite frankly, we want the perfect life. However, perfect doesn’t exist even in the Land of Oz. Dreams that do come true are the ones that are authenticate and show up just when we are ready to accept them.

I also have dreams of my ideal life; not perfect, just real. I am in Paris with my husband preparing for my keynote speech at a conference for breast cancer. I walk into the room to a deafening applause. They see I have a quiet confidence, a healthy glow from my active life, and something else they can’t put their finger on. I am known for my up-to-date casual, flirty, fun, and elegant style. I always look put together even if it’s just jeans and a t-shirt. I am comfortable in my own skin, and I hear whispers, “She has the whole package, I want some of that.” In my vision, I have been to see the wizard and I was granted my wishes, for I have embraced my dream. Dreaming big, embracing my dream fully, and believing I live the dream now, brings me to accept that I live my dream authentically.

This is how your dreams happen. Believing and living your dream now let’s your mind guide you to a place of truth and realization. You may say, “Oh, that is totally not true.” However, research supports this thought process. You create your own reality. Thoughts become emotions which then become action. Simple yet profound philosophy. I’ve seen this come true time and time again. Some say it’s the law of attraction. I say it’s your own creation story.

Creating your own dream is as easy as just a thought away. Your dreams can come true even without the wizard of oz, when you BELIEVE.

I believe, do you?

Sue

Couragetoadventure.com

Garden of Trust

Raise your hand if you have trust issues? Thank you, you may put your hands down now. I feel like I’m in very good company. Trust is an elusive character. From a young age we learn if you trust others they won’t come through for you; or if it is ourselves we look to for trust, we second guess constantly because the evidence before has shown us we can’t trust our intuition or soul. It’s let us down in the past so why should we believe it now?

I’ve had a very real test with trust recently. As an RN I want to know everything about my breast cancer. The tests, the results, the pathology reports, the mammogram and MRI results, treatment options, and as an ICU RN I want them now. Then I realized I was driving myself crazy. I was trying to live in the world of what ifs and control. This behavior was not helping me to stay with what I knew for sure. There were always more questions. With the realization that my craziness wasn’t helping, I calmed down and I started to trust. I started to let go of the need to know everything and control, and started to trust I will be OK. Since the shock has passed with my diagnosis, I now know I will be OK. Trusting has been the right path to tread. Since allowing myself to listen closely to my intuition the evidence is glaring and it has been right every step of the way.

Trust brought me to a place of peace 90-95% of the time and being human that ain’t bad. If there was one thing you could do to start trusting your fate to the universe or God, what would that be? Join me in that peaceful garden of trust and know that you’ll always be OK.

Cheers,

Sue

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Safety Net on a Roller Coaster

Up and down, up and down, screaming. That’s how I felt during the beginning process of my initial diagnosis of breast cancer. What if this, what if that.

Then the realization that throughout this roller coaster ride I have found and accepted love. I am blessed with the love of a great husband and many friends and family. I wish I had been more aware of the love that surrounded me before this illness adventure. That I felt deserving of the love that was around me; that grace and grateful need to exist in my vocabulary. I didn’t see the love, I didn’t feel the love, and most of all I didn’t feel I deserved the love. Sadly, it had to come down to a diagnosis of cancer, to find it is OK to accept love and give myself permission to accept it. To allow others to take care of me (me the caregiver that I usually am), when I’m knocked down to my knees. Being very independent, help is not something I’ve accepted readily and to those that I have held back from, I apologize. Often times I saw it as a weakness and not what it truly was: a gesture of love.

This unexpected love I’ve been embracing, these gestures of kindness feel like a million hugs all at once. Physically, emotionally, and virtually. The hugs and love have been my salvation, my safety net, through my illness, and kept me sane. Without this safety net, I would have felt lost and falling without a parachute.

This love has helped me shore up, kept me from falling down, and mostly helped me to feel not alone. This support has been monumental in my positive attitude and helped me to sit with my cancer and know that I will be alright. Helped me to trust my fate in a positive sense and know that I have somewhere soft to land. In the arms of the love of my husband, family, and friends.

If you need to trust your fate to a higher power, what or who would be your safety net?

With much love, grace, and gratefulness,

Sue

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Hang on Tight!

Grey clouds float by day after day. It seems the sun will never come out. The morning mist clings to you as you walk with tentacles that want to drag you down. This is grief, the loss of a loved one, a divorce, a job you loved; or just the grief of the loss of you.

Grief for some is short-lived and you’re able to celebrate what has passed. You look at the love that happened along the way. Others see the grief as unending, because endings are a way of life; and endings are always “bad,” right? If you hang on tight you’ll be able to hold that person or experience and it will never go away. You’ll always be able to keep it on a shelf and be happy that you own it.

These endings are not a direct attack on you (victim dictum). Endings are just the natural process of life. What has happened around you are filters or learned behaviors that clear or fog up your feelings and thinking. If you hang on tight, too tightly, you end up strangling yourself and the ones you loved. In the end, the endings happen anyway. I have learned through my own past pain and sufferings that it is never about the endings. It is really about beginnings. Beginning a new phase of life and leaving the past behind. The past may influence your actions now and in the future, but the past is not who you are. Later, if you wish, you can always dip your hand into your memory bucket.

Letting go of grief or the ending means the sun starts to shine, the clouds break up and the mist clears. It’s then time to put yourself first, get rid of the victim dictum attitude, and bathe yourself with “sunshine and lollipops;” be kind and compassionate with yourself through the pain.

Like a mama bird pushing her babies out of the nest, I send you love to give you the strength to let go and fly. I want that for you. How will you do it?

Love and Freedom

Sue

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Reflection of You

The pile in the corner keeps building with the history of your youth. Clothing of long gone family members, the boxes of photos of people you don’t know, your first report card, and your favorite toy you received for Christmas. These are just a sample of what you believe are reflections of you.

Just like Voldemort (yes I’m a Harry Potter fan) who separated his soul into 7 parts, you see all your possessions, all your family’s possessions as a reflection you. Those of you who identify with this particular behavior; this tendency to hold on to possessions, guilt yourself into believing your past is who you are. You consider the destruction or donation of these possessions are a betrayal of your soul. So you continue to hold on to the clutter. Whether the clutter is tangible or the clutter is what you keep inside, it builds a brick wall around the real you. With each brick you remove you believe it will tear you apart.

What you seem to ignore is that you believe you are “protecting” yourself. You shield yourself with the brick wall and are blind to the wonderful, beautiful person you truly are. By releasing the clutter you believe is the reflection of you, by breaking down the brick wall, the real you emerges like a butterfly from a cocoon.

Are you hiding behind the illusionary brick wall of clutter? Do you think your “stuff” holds your soul? I believe the real you is worth revealing. Don’t ya’ think it is about time the butterfly deserves it’s freedom?

Here’s looking at the real you, free of the clutter

Sue

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Peaceful Moments

In my journey through the breast cancer process I find I need my peaceful moments. More depth in my pursuit of me. Not surprising really, when one comes face to face with an earthquake experience. I was shaken, upon hearing of yet another change in my diagnosis. This one being the “C” word.

So I am digging deeper into my inner psyche, finding hand holds where needed to negotiate the space. It is an interesting process. I look for magic wherever I can find it, rather than barriers to my discoveries. I find messages and glimpses of light to illuminate the hidden treasures. Sometimes I refuse to hear the messages or the light blinds me and I lose my way. Self-discovery has its bumps and bruises along the way. In the end, I continue to learn who I am and find my peaceful moments to give me strength in my journey.

As I go through radiation, I find it easier than I expected. The team of radiation techs and MD’s keep the mood light and foster my sense of humor to get through the mundane process. The support is endless from friends and family. The love is palpable. This encourages me to seek more hand holds, more messages to gain more insight into my inner psyche. I know now my supporters will break my fall when I stumble. I will survive to the next level and beyond.

With the Christmas season upon us, take time to see the glimpses of light and messages to find your peaceful moments. The peaceful moments will be your light and your strength to a more enjoyable and happier Christmas.

Cheers

Sue

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Dance to the Music

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, these are a few of my favorite things…… Most of us know this song from Sound of Music. An inspiration to celebrate what we like, what we enjoy to fend off fear. A feel good song; love it.

I come from a reserved stoic family. Sure we laugh much and we have little drama (thank god). What I didn’t learn though, was how to celebrate. To do the “snoopy dance” for even the smallest of accomplishments (and I have had many opportunities to do this). In the process of not celebrating, I forgot what it meant to be proud of any accomplishment. I don’t mean proud as in prideful. I mean proud as in a behavior that means something to you or that you matter. If you are proud of an accomplishment you deserve to pat yourself on the back. You deserve to have self-esteem and have something to celebrate because you are worth it. They all tie into each other. When you hold back from celebrating, the pride or self-esteem you might get from even your tiniest smile, gets lost in the process and then so do you.

When was the last time you remember celebrating? Your celebrating can be the “snoopy dance,” getting excited with a squeal, a YAHOO, telling your best friend in a rush of excitement, or a night on the town. Giving yourself a pat on the back tastes and smells better than someone else doing the same for you. When YOU celebrate you are celebrating your voice. When your confidence increases it won’t matter what others think, then you can……..

“Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music!”

Cheers

Sue

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Celebrate the Vitality of Life

During the holidays we have our idea of what celebration means: rockets red glare for 4th of July, the golden brown turkey on the white tablecloth waiting to be carved for the family, and the lights that seemingly dance on the Christmas tree. The smells, the tastes, the emotions, all give us a sense that there is something to celebrate.

I’ve taken a bit of a journey in the last 6 months. An unexpected diagnosis of breast cancer, 3 surgeries, the waiting game for results to decide my treatment. Then the treatment itself, radiation 5 days a week for 6-7 weeks at 8:15 AM. It seemed like I trudged to those treatments some days; not wanting to get out of bed and partly because sleep was a bit of a challenge. I celebrate all of this situation, though. You’re probably thinking why would I be celebrating all this? I celebrate because my cancer was found early and I only needed radiation treatment with follow-up medications and lifetime surveillance for any recurrence. I celebrate with my family and friends for a gift of life; a gift of vitality that landed in my lap. I celebrate the outpouring of love and support. I enthusiastically celebrate my great oncology team and a professional and humorous radiation team. They held me gracefully with kindness through my skin irritation, my “sunburn,” and my celebration of my last treatment day. A celebration of completion and of accomplishment.

All accomplishments need celebration. Everyday accomplishments or surpassing a milestone deserves honoring. A simple smile, an atta girl or boy, or a dance that thanks to Snoopy, I call a Snoopy dance. Yesterday, I received a reminder that in my formative years when I would bring my report card home I wasn’t rewarded for the A’s and B’s, if I ever brought home a D or F, surely I would have been grounded. I’m sure my parents subscribed to the philosophy that Garrison Keillor stated in his Singing with the Lutherans, “Lutherans feel that applauding for their children’s choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.” To remember that the celebration for accomplishments or milestones supports our inner awareness that we matter, that we mean something. To learn to have those celebrations, even within ourselves, is the most important; to share the celebrations with others is icing on the cake.

After my treatment finale, we celebrated with the staff, hugs all around. A certificate received, cake and sparkling cider given in remembrance of my appreciation for the staff. To celebrate a day of silliness was in order. Something different to know I mattered and start the recovery process with pure child likeness. We played miniature golf, played pinball, foosball, and air hockey. We even had our palms read electronically by the one-eyed pirate.

The point is, I celebrated a HUGE milestone and I celebrated the vitality of my life. Because I do matter and I deserve to tell myself so.

Cheers to You and Me

Sue
Couragetoadventure.com

Reality Check

Long days on my feet. Joking around with my colleagues. Patients that make me laugh and cry. Emotions become overwhelming. Fatigue over takes me, I hit a wall, and my own coping skills go out the window. I cry out of frustration and feel neglected. This is my proposed ease back into my real work life. My well placed plan of working 8 hour days for the beginning of my return to work falls flat. Exercising an hour intensely per day still doesn’t prepare me for my 12 hour day job. The reality check creeps in that my stamina is not back to normal and I need to pay attention to what my body is telling me; that I need more time to acclimate.

Yikes! How many times a day do you find yourself facing a reality check? We think denial is a wonderful perk of being human; we think it protects us. Living in denial prevents you from facing your truth; your freedom. The “truth will set you free,” they say. Dangit, it’s true. After I realized that I needed to listen to my body during this recovery phase of my illness, I started to take of care of myself, standing up for what I need. Acknowledging the truth is the first step, accepting it is the next step, and living it is the last step. A gift to yourself.

A reality check is a message that you no longer need to hide from the truth. It’s a message that you can handle whatever life hands you. When that reality check yells at you though, pay attention or the struggle will continue and there will be lasting side effects. I’ve learned my lesson in this instance and my awareness has helped me to divert my struggles before they happen again. I implore you to learn from my lesson. Pay attention to who you are and what you need before you face your own reality check.

Sit still and listen just for 30 seconds. What does your body, your soul tell you?

Cheers

Sue

Couragetoadventure.com

OMG!

Flying home nonstop with 15 extra inches of room, a slightly cushy seat, movies available for viewing, meals that keep me nourished, playing games with my iPhone. I’m amusing myself on a 12 hour flight home from England. We’re returning from a funeral of a friend and some well deserved fun in London. A bittersweet trip.

Halfway through the flight I realized, OMG! I completely forgot I had breast cancer and that I had just finished treatment. I was blown away. This brought to light the importance of recovery. According to one of my favorite books “The Power of Full Engagement,” by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, recovery is important to happiness. One of the premises of the book is to completely devote time to an activity such as work, take a break to do something for yourself, then continue with your work. They have many examples of their research in the book, of the increased productivity resulting from the break or recovery period. This means spending time playing and spending time working. The times being mutually exclusive. The result is a happier you.

What do you do for You during the day? What do you do to help You be happier and more productive? Breaks in your day for fun and exercise, even if you are at work will give you a new perspective and a feeling of being refreshed when you restart your work or chores. You deserve to put yourself first and by doing so you will thrive in all aspects of your life. You have my permission, now give it to yourself.

Cheers

Sue

Couragetoadventure.com

Overwhelming Thoughts

“Does he like me?” “Oh, I don’t know.” “He smiled at me.” “He’ll never call.” “He won’t even ask for my phone number.” How many of you have heard that inner dialogue in your head? Analyzing over, and over, and over again over some guy? Or over anything?

Literature has shown we have surprisingly, over 60,000 thoughts a day. Pro, con, in, out. As one thought disappears, another appears. It’s understandable then, that getting a quiet moment in your head will be quite overwhelming. Then to put it together further, whose thoughts do they belong too? Family, friends, or your younger self? These tend to make up your beliefs of what you can or cannot do; who you think you are, and what’s possible. These beliefs keep you stuck and keep you from moving in a forward direction; even if these beliefs have no relevance for you today. It’s what us coaches call a limiting belief. We all have them. They can frustrate you because they keep you in the same old habits. They can make you feel there is no way out.

With that said, these thoughts have created who you are today. The good , the bad, and the ugly. Given that awareness, you have the right to choose which thoughts you want to keep and which you want to give away or let go. Kind of gives you sense of freedom and power, huh?

Cheers

Sue

Couragetoadventure.com

Tell me…..what thoughts would you like to let go of? I’d like to let go of that inner dialogue of “who do you think you are wanting it all.” What thought or feeling do you want to change?

Grounded

I just found out a friend of mine has cancer. It seems every time I turn around these days I hear of someone being diagnosed with cancer. It is like being more aware of a car you plan to buy, you suddenly see those cars everywhere. Briefly, this situation took me back to own diagnosis of breast cancer. The shock and disbelief, the face to face with my mortality.

As a nurse I wanted to know everything I could get my hands on. Then it dawned on me……more information would just make me obsessed and would not help me in the long run. The realization, took me to the emotion of my disease, rather than the disease itself. Accepting love from my friends and family became more important and gave me a more positive focus. You see, cancer is as much an emotional disease as it is a physical disease.

When faced with a crisis who or what do you rely upon? For me it was to trust and have faith everything would be alright. When I had that moment, that aha moment, the realization that I was more important than the disease; and all of me not just the physical part, a certain peace came over me. I’ve never looked back and I felt that was the best choice for me. The next time a crisis comes about, seek and accept love from those around you and find where it takes you. It is likely you will end up somewhere different than before and find you like it.

Cheers

Sue

Couragetoadventure.com

The Bright side of Surrender

I have been pondering the concept of surrendering recently. I’ve always considered it a scary, controlling, claustrophobic place to go. I then looked at it again with different colored glasses. I redefined surrendering as a place that I can find freedom, love, ease, and partnership. This definition feels like being cuddled by a huge fluffy white comforter. The expensive kind you might find in an elite hotel. Now I find, ooh, I like it.

My friend Lynn is struggling. Her youngest child is going off to school. There are many emotions present here: love, fear, trust, and surrender. Love because it is so obvious Lynn loves her child and wants the best for her, fear of letting her little bird fly off and encounter a broken wing, fear of change in both of their lives to new phases of their lives, trusting that the little bird will be ok, and surrendering to the powers that be, that everyone involved will weather the bumpy ride. Oh, what an exciting time though. Stagnation in our lives helps us sit with the emotions, but if we stay there, the emotions overwhelm us and we become paralyzed. Knowing life will turn out alright, is what helps maintain our sanity. To trust that what you’ve taught your child has stuck like glue, and they’ll make decisions based on your love, teaching, guidance, and their past successes. Then the utmost compassionate and loving gesture……surrendering your control and falling into that fluffy white comforter. Surrendering to your soul and to your essence, be it God or your inner self.

I lovingly surrender to my new definition of surrender, that cuddly white comforter that embraces me so that I am not afraid. In that moment, I ask myself…..who am I when I embrace my magic? Who are you when you surrender and embrace your own bit of magic?

I’m sprinkling magic dust on your growth.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

E-Ticket Life

Up to the top, ooh here comes a curve, then the darkness of the caves, and another curve, a splash, fast, wind blowing in your hair, and in just over two minutes your E-ticket ride on Disneyland’s Matterhorn is over. What a ride!!!

For those of you who remember, the E-ticket ride at Disneyland was the best ride ever. The A-ticket ride was the slow ride in the horseless carriage down Disneyland’s Main Street. If you translate this into your own life…..what does this mean for you? Life has cycles, there’s no way around that. Ups and downs, excitement and lulls. All needed so your mind and body can catch up and regroup. When the excitement builds with just a wee bit of anxiety, there is juiciness like a ripe strawberry. The anxiety is just one of the seeds. Playing it safe, means eating the same thing day after day. Predictability in all things.

An E-ticket life means you are living your life to its fullest. Flowing with the curves, the caves, the curves, the splashes, and the yumminess of ripe strawberries. The A-ticket life means you are plodding along down Main Street. What gets your heart pumping?

I want the Matterhorn, sit beside me and enjoy the ride.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com

100%

Leaning in, hands clasped, eyes locked, encouraging voices, 100% committed to the end. Slide, step, slide, step. Propping each other up on a high wire. Wider and wider we go until the connection is gone and we fly through the air to a safety net below.

How often do you feel a 100% connected to another person? Not often I imagine. With life’s distractions we find focus and silence pushed out of our lives. It truly becomes an effort to stay connected to others and to ourselves. How do you break the habit of not connecting and convert to a healthy habit of connecting with others? Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and connect with yourself. Add a mantra or hum a favorite tune adds another dimension. When you connect or center yourself, the connecting with others becomes easier and more natural. You’re then ready; ready to be “real” with others.

Although I’ve been used to going it alone, I’ve discovered that working with another makes life easier. You realize you’re not alone and you have support. You are no longer that separate elephant taking the trek alone. You are among the herd that cares, that stays with you even when the going gets tough.

I invite you to become part of my herd. I’ll help prop you up until you are on your feet again and you can establish your own herd.

Sue

http://bestlifeafterbreastcancer.com

https://couragetoadventure.com